That First Kiss

220px-Kissing_the_War_Goodbye That first kiss with someone new.  It can land anywhere on the scale; from amazing, to average to just plain terrible. But is it a reflection of your chemistry with that person or does it just need practice? And do you say something if you really like the person but the kiss isn’t doing it for you?

Since being back in the dating world, I’ve had two really good first kisses, two really bad ones and everything else was somewhere in the middle.  I will admit that the ones on either end of the spectrum were definitely a reflection of the chemistry between us (for me anyway).  The first good one was on the bleachers at a baseball field, which was pretty cool. He asked me if he could kiss me, which I liked – especially because I was just getting back into the game. The second good one was in the middle of a street after our first date. He looked at me, grabbed me and went for it. And the bad ones…well let’s just say they were too wet and too soft for my liking (even after I gave them another shot at it).  I just knew  that things weren’t going to work out. And I’ll leave it at that.

So I’m leaning towards thinking that the first kiss is a sign. But others disagree. I asked my friends what they thought – what would they do if they really liked someone and the first kiss was awful.  Some said they wouldn’t go back for more but many felt that the first kiss can be nerve-racking and they would give the person more time. More time for them to get in sync. (Fair point.)  And most also said they would say something to the other person.  But say it nicely.  Some women I know suggested purring something sexy into the other person’s ear to lead them to what you like.  A guy I know  said that as a man, you have to tread very carefully about asking a woman to adjust her kissing style.  Personally, I would agree with that.  So while many of my peeps are all over the map on this one, those who said that they would keep trying were very clear that other things like character and respect are far more important qualities to them.

So how do you handle a bad kiss?

1. Assess the situation. Yeah, true. The first kiss can be awkward. Do you see this going somewhere? Do you like them? Do you connect on other levels? If yes, then stick around.  If you don’t like them that much, then it’s likely not worth having more bad kissing. If it’s just a random hook up, then why bother if the person is bad kisser?

2. Set an example. Kiss them how you like to be kissed. (But if you are one of those people who shoves their tongue down someone’s throat, please,for the love of God, stop doing that!)

3. Talk about it. Communication is so important in any relationship. Be nice and use positive reinforcement. Nobody wants to hear that they aren’t doing it for you so be gentle. But say something.

4.Practice. Keep trying …until you just can’t anymore.

I guess everyone puts a different level of importance on kissing. It’s really important to me. There’s nothing better than a good make-out session, in my mind.  It’s fun, and flirty and sexy.  But only you know what works for you and how much effort and patience you are willing to give in this area. So all I can say is go forth and conquer – your own way.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Hearts bigger then the sun
    Mar 16, 2014 @ 23:14:36

    Hey! I love your blog! You might like my most recent post! Please check it out 🙂 Thanks!

    Reply

  2. Sarah
    Mar 18, 2014 @ 20:35:39

    If it’s not a good first kiss, he better have a banging body and hilarious personality to back to fall back on 🙂

    Reply

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