The Art of Juggling

I’m juggling. Juggling men. I’m not quite sure how it happened. Really. It wasn’t on purpose. It’s just the way things have panned out.  And I’m rolling with it.

There were three – a guy I met in Vegas who wanted to keep calling me (so, so cute but who does that? It was Vegas!!), the guy I’ve mentioned in my past posts (witty, smart and we get along really well), and a new one (a bartender – completely age inappropriate but fun).  Over the last week, Vegas guy has gone from the top of my list to the bottom…in fact he may not even be on the list anymore.  I mean, let’s be realistic shall we?  I don’t need to explain all the ways you can’t maintain a connection with someone who lives far away and whom you barely know. So I’m fairly certain I’m now down to two.

All this is very unlike me. But I recently decided to just start saying yes to opportunities that present themselves rather than find reasons to say no.   There are a few interesting things for me about this new situation I’ve found myself in:

  1. I’m learning to stay in the moment. You know -be present with the person I’m actually with (or talking to) and give them my full attention.  I have a tendency to overthink (as you know) so this is good for me.
  2. The standings on my “favourite list” shifts depending on the interaction.  This is curious to me.  It all depends on whether we’ve had a good date. Luckily for me, the two guys who I actually both spend time with are fun and I like hanging out with them. I kind of consider myself lucky given all the idiots out there.
  3. I’m not emotionally invested. This is new to me as I’ve never dated like this before.  I’m fully aware that neither of these guys wants anything long term and nor do I.  This will all end soon enough. So this is good practice for me.
  4. Men like the chase. We all know this. In fact, I think most people do – women and men alike. I’m honest with each of  these guys so they are fully aware that they aren’t the only ones I’m dating. And this makes them want me more.  So silly but that seems to be the way it works. Especially for alpha males who aren’t looking for a serious relationship.

Some days it is challenging – especially when I’m being text bombed, but I’m a master texter so I manage. It can also be generally overwhelming but when that happens, I just take a step back and reassess. I make sure I’m still making conscious decisions and I check in with myself to make sure I’m okay.

Just between us –  there’s also a part of me that’s doing this for the sisterhood.  If guys can do it, why can’t women?  I think some people can’t wrap their head around dating multiple people.  In fact I’ve been told I’m being like a guy. I rebel against that. I think I can do whatever I want if it’s not hurting anyone. And women have just as much right to be free, empowered and choose to date several people.  In fact, it does make me feel strong.  I do know that women are built a little differently emotionally (Heart in the Vagina?) … I don’t forget this so I’m keeping my eyes open.  I know none of it is long term and as an expiry date. I may crash and it will all come tumbling down around me.  But that’s okay.  This  journey is mine alone and every time I learn more about myself.

Mostly though, I’m having a lot fun.  All my dates with all of them have been great. And I like the attention, I really do. I mean, let’s be honest, who wouldn’t?   So with all that in mind,  right now, I’m enjoying the ride and choosing my own adventure.

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