Adventures in Dating

I’ve been out in the dating world for a year now. It’s hard to believe. Despite my stories, there haven’t really been that many guys – especially any that have gotten past the first coffee date. Some of my experiences have been good, some hard, some funny and some have caused me anxiety and sleepless nights. But they have all taught me something.

So here’s a glimpse into my escapades during my year of dating. The good, the bad and the ugly. And of course, the downright ridiculous.

  1. Does one coffee date count? Met a guy I knew wasn’t my type and I was right. Super beta. I went for the practice. I told him right after that I’d rather just be friends. We never spoke again which is just as well because I didn’t really mean it.
  2. My emotionally unavailable Mister Crush. Off and on in various incarnations for several months. He’s still the only one I’ve actually had feelings for and has caused me the most emotional difficulty since I’ve started dating. Funny that he was the first guy I dated. I have to say that I’ve learned the most about myself from my experiences with him.
  3. The time I was about to meet this intense guy I was talking to online. When he couldn’t understand why I didn’t want to go to his house for our first meeting and criticized my philosophy around introducing men to my child, I bailed. Idiot.
  4. The night I ended up in the hospital.
  5. 26 year old I met while drunk with my girlfriends at 5pm on the ferry – thanks to a sparkly flask full of gin. Cute, witty, 26 year old who we went to a bonfire with (and his buddies). Yeah, too young for me but wit gets me every time. Some text flirting for weeks afterward but it really was just for fun. Too young.
  6. Needing to take sleeping pills for a while last year as everything was just messing with my head. I’m glad I haven’t had to take any in months.
  7. Let my super vixen out with a guy. I won’t go into more details here. Although I sure am tempted! Great guy but he lived too far and we ultimately wanted different things from life.
  8. Abs. Beautiful, beautiful abs. Talked online fairly intensely for a few days. I was suspicious at first but I was intoxicated by the picture of those abs and those arms. I was worried he was actually a troll who lived with his mom. He all of a sudden stopped emailing. What a douche. Abs can only get you so far. (But they were spectacular.)
  9. My night as a cougar. I laughed out loud when he asked me if I lived with my parents as he was leaving my house.
  10. Another super vixen moment when I cut off my panties and hung them over the bar on a non-date with a guy I was attracted to. Did it because I thought it was funny. And yeah, hammered. Wow, where did that girl come from?
  11. Took a chance on a guy I met online. Turns out he’s amazingly sweet and thoughtful. Too bad I feel absolutely no chemistry. So we are just friends but I can tell he likes me.
  12. The time I danced with a guy, dressed as a woman…with pink hair. I may have made out with him. I can’t remember. I have to tell you that the costume was for a stag. And I thought it was ballsy. Plus I managed to keep his long black gloves for my costume collection.
  13. Co-worker introduction to a bouncer. Good guy. We are friends and I ask him boy questions. He tells me I’m pretty, nice and smart when I need to hear it. Gotta love that.
  14. The time my co-worker chased after me to give me back a condom that had dropped out of my purse in front of my office. Can you say awkward?
  15. Getting to share my stories with my kick ass friends – which includes laughing at myself, commiserating and crying on their shoulder.

So there you go. Good times. (I mean that both sarcastically, and not.) Right now I’m having a drought. I figure it’s the universe’s way of telling me something. I don’t know what yet but I guess I’ll take the time to just be. But I do love a good distraction!

Happy Birthday To My Blog!

A year ago today, I wrote my first post on this blog.

It’s been both cathartic, helpful and fun.  I write here mostly for me but also in the hopes that it will help others.  I know my posts are diverse – and they aren’t all for everyone.  A year ago I wrote this about my blog:  “Maybe this blog is less about my online dating journey and more my life  journey.  Hopefully that will include some good stories, some laughs, some insights, and probably a little hurt and sadness sprinkled in there.”   That is exactly what it has turned out to be.

So if any of it has helped any of you, made you think, or inspired you,  that makes me happy.  But at it’s core, as I had hoped, my posts reflect my journey. So thank you for coming along with me!

Top Ten Signs You Aren’t Ready To Date

The list below comes from a hilarious conversation I had with my two best friends today. One of us married, one of us dating and one of us not ready to jump back into the man-pool yet.

True story.

Top 10 Signs You Aren’t Ready To Date Yet:
1. It doesn’t occur to you that it’s not appropriate to pick your toenails in public.
2. You think the cutest guy on the block is the 3 year old down the street.
3. You see absolutely no reason why you should trim.
4. The guy in line behind you says “excuse me” and you have an irresistible urge to punch him in the neck.
5. Scrunchies. Ah, why not??
6. The guy at the drive through says “here’s your change” and you scream in his face “No!! YOU change, you mother fucker!”
7. You have no problem admitting that your stuffed animal, Mister Bojangles, is your preferred bed fellow.
8. You rent The Godfather as a comedy.
9. Your friend suggests you put your profile up on Plenty of Fish. You throw up in your mouth a little bit. Okay, a lot.
10. Granny panties.

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