So This Was Christmas

December almost gone. Christmas over. So many times I meant to sit down and write and for some reason, couldn’t. Or didn’t. I’m not sure what was stopping me but I’ve come to realize that I can only share myself when I’m ready.

I hadn’t anticipated that December would be hard for me so when it rolled around, that surprised me. It shouldn’t have but it did. The holidays are hard for many people but I had never experienced that before. I’ve always loved December.  But this year, it felt different. I found myself lost in thoughts and feelings from the past.  I know this is normal giving what I’ve been through the last 12 months.  Interestingly enough, it wasn’t that I was missing the years of spending Christmas as part of a couple or a family but more, remembering how hard last December was for me and all the feelings I was experiencing then. It all came back.

I think it’s really hard for some of us not to spend Christmas looking back at what was.  It’s much more difficult to look ahead at the possibilities and opportunities that could come our way. I’m not sure why the holiday season does that to us.  Perhaps it’s the pressure to be happy this time of year.

Thankfully my parents came to spend the holidays with me and I created new traditions with my daughter.  So all in all, it was actually pretty good given that this was my first Christmas of my “new life”.  And I hope it will only get better.  But I can now relate to all the people who struggle with the holiday season.  It’s funny how you think you can be empathetic towards others who are having a hard time but you never really know what it’s like until you go through it yourself.  This is true of anything really.

So I got through December.  I took back my birthday – by making it awesome.  I survived Christmas – thanks to my family and friends.  Onwards and upwards right?

Freebie #6: bubble bath from Sephora

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I love free crap! Especially when it’s not crap!

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Freebie #5: a sundae.

I am so full. I couldn’t eat this. But I can’t say no to free stuff!

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Freebie #4: burger!!

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Freebie #3: starbucks coffee

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Freebie#2: tuque from the place I buy my smokes.

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Freebie #1: Denny’s breakfast!

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